do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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