i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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