I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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