I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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