I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
