I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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