Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
