I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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