Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
