im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
