U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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