You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
