haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
