he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
