so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
