There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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