I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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