38 yer olds are good kisserssss
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
