so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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