Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
