Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
