Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
