Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
