the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
