on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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