Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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