Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
