The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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