On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
