Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
