You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
