you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
dude. I can hear the air.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
