People with herpes should wear stickers.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
