Porn is love you can see.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
