So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
