if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
