Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
