I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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