you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
