i wish my penis had a tongue
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
