CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
