Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I touched a dick in church today
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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