I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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