i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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