Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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