So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
