that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish they made helmets for livers.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
