Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize