I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
