Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
