It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
