i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
