Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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